Masonry has built my life. When I say Masonry I’m not talking about anything related to bricks or mortar. I’m talking about the Freemasons. I’ll make this abundantly clear: The Freemasons aren’t about hiding some sort of huge amount of treasure, being a part of some kind of global conspiracy, or the sacrificial slaughter of goats. The Freemasons are about being good men but always working to become better. The Freemasons are a charitable organization dedicated to service.
Women and children are not eligible to become Masons themselves, but there are several organizations they can take part in. Two of the most prominent youth organizations are Order of Demolay for boys and the International Order of Rainbow for girls. If you have a child between the ages of 11 and 20 and you’re looking for something to pull them away from social media, look no further. Demolay and Rainbow will give them the opportunity to participate in service projects and meet and interact with other kids in a way that doesn’t involve pointing, clicking, or tapping. It looks a lot better on a college application than wiling away hour upon hour on social media or playing video games.
Two of the largest women’s organizations are Order of the Eastern Star and Order of the Amaranth. Though the youth and women’s organizations are not part of the Fraternity, they are closely related to it and have the same purpose. These organizations have participated in service projects and raised millions for charities like the American Cancer Society and the Juvenile Diabetes Research Fund.
I was proudly raised in a Masonic family. My great-grandmother was a member of Eastern Star. My grandfather was a Mason, a Tall Cedar, an Eastern Star, belonged to the Scottish Rite, and was a Shriner. My grandmother belonged to Eastern Star, Amaranth, and White Shrine. My mother and aunt both belonged to Rainbow and belong to Eastern Star. My mother was a Grand Officer in Rainbow and is a Master of the Grand Cross of Color, the highest honor conferred by the organization for service above and beyond what is required of a Rainbow girl. I’m fourth generation Eastern Star and I’ve had the honor of serving as Worthy Matron of my Chapter and being a Past Grand Officer in the Grand jurisdiction of New Jersey. Freemasonry is in my blood
I can honestly say that joining Eastern Star was one of the best things I’ve ever done. Being a member of Eastern Star has allowed me to give back to my community, has given me experiences that I will never forget, and has made me a better-rounded person. Clone Club is awesome but, to be a part of Eastern Star is to be part of a sisterhood like no other. It even led me into comedy. If I never joined Star, I might never have met my friend and comedy Mr. Miyagi Kurt Zimmerman.
I love being a part of an organization that treats me like family. It’s also fun to tell people that my mother and aunt are also my Sisters for the looks on people’s faces. Today’s a big day in my Masonic family. The Rainbow Assembly my Chapter co-sponsors is Installing a brand new Worthy Advisor. These girls are my friends’ children. Fraternally speaking, you could say they’re my nieces so I’m excited for them. I’m a bit thrown for a loop. The incoming Worthy Advisor thinks I’m cool and asked me to be her guest speaker.
You read correctly: Someone actually thinks this Doctor Who loving, Game of Thrones obsessed, polyhedral dice throwing, Harry Potter cosplaying, comic book convention attending geek is cool. I know what you’re thinking: Dear Lord why?! I don’t know! Pursuant to insults hurled my way throughout my school career and snickering and pointing from my colleagues and even managers I’m geek and therefore not cool. Could it be that the people who’ve made fun of me all my life are, I’m really going to enjoy saying this: WRRRRROOOOOOOONNNNGGGGG?!?!?! Stranger things have happened.
I share a lot of interests with the girls that belong to the Assembly, but I have my suspicions that there’s a deeper reason that I get swarmed by Rainbow girls every time I come out to their events, which to me is every bit as awesome being swarmed by puppies. I don’t think it’s the fact that if I showed up to a meeting in a white dress, there’s a good chance the Mother Advisor would mistake me for one of them since they’re all taller than me. I’ve actually been meaning to try this. It would make an epic prank.
Nevertheless I’ll be the first to admit that the idea of a bunch of girls seeing me as a role model is a wee bit terrifying, but there are worse role models they could be following. There’s Lindsay Lohan, any woman with the last name of Kardashian, the people who made fun of me in high school, and my colleagues and managers who point and snicker at me when they think I can’t see or hear them just to give a few examples. Despite being a comedian, I am a functional member of society. I don’t do drugs, I drink only in moderation, I don’t carry on like a Kardashian, and I sure as heck don’t make fun of people even if they like something odd.
So maybe all of the people who made fun of me are in fact, this is going to be epic, wrong wrongity wrong wrong wrong! I might never have figured this out if I had never had the good sense to take part in my Masonic heritage. I think that’s the best gift that having Freemasonry in my life has ever given me, so big time thanks to them. Despite my lack of height I can still stand tall knowing that I’ve got a solid foundation.