Comic Book Movies and Kids

*Blogger puts soapbox down on the floor and stands on it*

The wild success of the Spiderman movies has led to a rise in the number of comic book properties being adapted for the silver screen. This means adults can enjoy watching the comics they grew up reading come to life and youngsters can get hooked on these amazing characters and their abilities and start reading all about them in comic books. It’s a win-win.

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However, there seems to be a misconception that all movies based on comic books are appropriate for youngsters. This could not be further from the truth. Examples of comic book movies that are not appropriate for kids include 300 for the sheer amount of blood and/or gore, V for Vendetta for the heavy political content, and The Watchmen for heavy moral/ethical content. The most recent comic book movie that is absolutely not for kids is Deadpool. It doesn’t even pretend to be even remotely for kids.

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Tons of gore and scantily clad men: Not for kids

Don’t believe me? Pick up some Deadpool comics and read them. I’ll wait. He’s pretty inappropriate isn’t he? Told you! I’m not knocking Deadpool. In fact I think his lack of a filter is part of his charm. I think that most movie ratings put on by the MPAA are nothing short of censorship, but I’m willing to say that Deadpool earned its R rating fair and square. So what’s the big deal? Nothing if you’re not a child under the age of 17. If you want to head out and see Deadpool, go for it! However, if you are the parent of a kid under the age of 17, I suggest you make the decision on whether you want your child to see this movie with extreme caution.

My kid can handle it.

No, I’m afraid not. I know you think that your precious snowflake is the exception and not the rule, but I assure you he/she is still a kid. That means that even though he/she may be smart enough not to copy Deadpool’s behavior, there’s a chance that he/she might decide to try to repeat some potty language to sound cool in front of his/her friends at school. What happens when kids get caught swearing at school? They end up in trouble and then you have to explain to the teacher where your little snowflake learned such naughty words. Whose fault is it going to be that your child picked up bad language? Is it going to be the fault of the parent who didn’t do his/her homework on the movie they were about to allow the kid to see? NO! It’s going to be the movie’s fault! How dare they put out such filth! Why I’m going to contact that studio and complain!

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Heavy political content: Not for kids

So what if one person complains?

Well that’s just it. Complaints are like cockroaches. There’s never only one and if too many uninformed parents complain, the studio will put a lid on Deadpool forever and basically ruin it for the fans that are actually old enough and mature enough to handle it.

So what should I do? My kid really likes Deadpool.

Unless your child has actually read the comics, he/she doesn’t really know who Deadpool is.

But isn’t Deadpool that guy in the X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie?

NO! THAT’S NOT THE REAL DEADPOOL! YOU SHUT YOUR HOLE! I’ll say it again, read the freakin’ comics. If you don’t have time look online. I’m sure at the very least a Google image search should reveal how inappropriate for kids Deadpool really is. If you don’t have time to do that, watch the trailer but not the squeaky clean trailer they showed on TV. Go on YouTube and search for the unrated trailer. If you still think your child can hang, that’s fine. At least you made an informed decision.

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Heavy moral/ethical content: Not for kids

But what if I read some comics and watch the unrated trailer and I really don’t think that Deadpool is age-appropriate for my child? What should I do?

Simple! When he/she asks to see Deadpool, you say no. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

But if I say no my child will be upset!

Good! If your child doesn’t get pissed off at you once in a while, you’re not doing your job. Kids need rules, boundaries, and limitations. You’re not your child’s friend. You’re the parent. Stop catering to them. My parents said no to me loads of times. I didn’t die. In fact I’m probably still alive because my parents said no. Trust me, they’ll get over it. Do you watch Game of Thrones? Remember that Joffrey bastard? You’re happy he’s gone right? We all are! Do you know what happens when you don’t say no to your kids every now and then? JOFFREY! Joffrey is what happens when you don’t say no to your kids.

I did my research, made an informed decision, I let my kid see the movie and he/she tried to use the language and got in trouble at school. Whose fault is it?

The fault lies with both of you. It’s your child’s fault because he/she knew good and well what would happen if he/she got caught talking like that in school and did it anyway. So, hold him/her accountable and deal out some punishment. Again, rules, boundaries, limitations like Cesar Milan suggests for dogs. Oddly enough it works on kids, too. Go figure. It’s also your fault because even though you made an informed decision, ultimately you still allowed your child to see the movie. Seriously if I hear you at the theater demanding a refund, or read a post on social media complaining about this movie and blaming a fictional character for your kid’s behavior I’m going to have no problem pointing out your stupidity. Take responsibility for your actions. Thanks for reading and happy watching! Or not watching, whichever you choose.

*Blogger steps down off of soapbox, picks it up, and walks away whistling “Shoop” by Salt-n-Pepa*

A Teachable Moment

Dear Sir,

Hello! I’m the person that was standing next to you and your family at an adoption event at a pet supply store. I was volunteering with a rescue group when you stopped by to take a look at some of the adoptable dogs. You said, “All pit bulls or pit mixes. Not a single normal dog. They’re terrible dogs and they should all be shot.” I had to walk away before I unleashed my burning rage. Now that I’m calmer, I’d like to make this a teachable moment.

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Fun Fact: Helen Keller owned several pit bulls. She’s pictured here with Sir Thomas

I assure you that every single dog with the rescue is in fact a normal dog. I’ll give you that it was weird that the one pit bull barked like one of the flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz, but all dogs have a unique personality and their own little quirks regardless of breed. I would also like to point out that not all of the dogs at the event were pit bulls or pit mixes. The brindle dog at your 2:00 is a Mastiff and there was a Husky and also a Jack Russell-Chihuahua mix behind you. There were also some very sweet adoptable cats present.

I should explain why the majority of the dogs were either pit bulls or pit bull mixes. Pit bulls experienced a dramatic rise in popularity during the early 90s similar to the one experienced by Dalmatians after the release of Disney’s 101 Dalmatians. There are also disgusting, barbaric cowards who use them for dog fighting. These things combined have led to irresponsible backyard breeding which has led to both genetic issues and a rise in the number of unwanted pets, hence the need for animal shelters and rescue organizations. The rise in the pit bull population has led to a higher probability of a pit bull or pit mix ending up in a shelter or rescue. No animal asks to end up in that situation. Humans put them in that position either through adverse circumstances or their own carelessness.

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Before dog-fighting and irresponsible breeding, pit bulls as “nanny dogs” were all the rage in the early 20th century
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Fun Fact: Petey from Our Gang was a pit bull

It’s important to remember that the term “pit bull” has no solid scientific definition. There’s actually no such breed as pit bull. It’s a designation used to describe a dog with certain physical characteristics and unknown parentage. Therefore, a pit bull could be any dog with a large and blocky head, short hair, and muscular build whose ancestors are unknown. Unfortunately, there is no Ancestry.com for dogs.

The term “pit bull” is also subjective. When rescues or shelters take a dog in with little to no knowledge of the dog’s history, they’re forced to guess the breed. As a result, what one shelter or rescue may call a pit bull or pit mix, another may call an American Bull Dog or Lab mix. Most rescues are volunteer organizations that subsist on donations, so performing costly DNA tests on every dog just isn’t possible. As a result a dog labeled as a pit bull may not even be a pit bull at all, but rather the product of a Mastiff who loved an American Bulldog.

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Fun Fact: Jon Stewart has a pit bull. My that dog is terrifying! <=Heavy sarcasm

Your claim that all pit bulls should be shot is ludicrous. You wouldn’t go around saying that all adults below the height of 5’3” should be shot. That would be crazy right? So if you wouldn’t say that a human being with certain characteristics should be culled, why would you say it about a dog with certain characteristics? It sounds to me like you might have a lot in common with a movement that lost power in Germany in the 1940s.

 

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“Look deep into you psyche. You might be a bit Third Reich-y” -Steven Lynch

If you must insist that an entire designation of dog should be killed why would you suggest something as inhumane as shooting them? The process of euthanasia involves the injection of an anesthetic so that the animal goes to sleep followed by the injection of a drug that stops their heart. If you asked a vet to shoot the animal instead, he or she may feel an inclination to shoot you for suggesting such a thing. So you see, your comment is not only ignorant but is also completely bonkers.

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Fun Fact: Rachael Ray, also a pit bull owner. Watch out, Rachael you have a vicious dog in your lap! <=More heavy sarcasm

It’s disturbing that you spouted your hate speech (let’s call a spade a spade) in front of your wife and child. I can only imagine from the defeated look on your wife’s face what she must go through with you and it disheartens me. It worried me to see your child look up to you. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what a huge responsibility you have. However I will tell you from my own experience that no one loves quite the way a daughter does. Everything you do and say will one day become the legacy you leave behind in her mind and heart, so when you choose your words consider how you want to be remembered.

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And here’s Tia Torres, pit bull rescuer & advocate, runner of Villalobos sanctuary, & certified badass with a heart of gold

I hope that you find yourself more enlightened after reading this and I want you to know that all of the anger I felt has been replaced by pity. I pity you because life seems to have hardened you to the point where you’ve lost your compassion. I’m sorry for all that happened to you and I hope you’re able to get yours back someday. Mother Theresa once said that, “People are often self-centered, irrational, and unreasonable. Forgive them anyway.” I forgive you. I also want you to know how grateful I am because you didn’t just give me something to write about, you gave me a reason to write. These animals don’t have a voice, but I do. Someone has to do the right thing and that someone is me and I will never stop. I hope you learn from my example. I’ll pray for you.

Sincerely,

One Woman with a Voice

Videos!

I posted videos from Friday night’s show. You can view my entire set by clicking here

Or because I like to give options you can view a playlist of my new freshly debuted material by clicking here

Happy watching!

Take 5 2/12

Tonight’s show was epic. We had a great crowd tonight and our host Joan kept things rolling and she is a very funny lady. I pushed the envelope a little further and still got laughs. I’m glad I released a bit of my comedy dark side. You don’t always have to be a comedy Jedi. You can join the comedy Sith and still get laughs. All the comics were great, but I want to be like our headliner when I grow up. I’m happy with tonight’s show and excited for the next one.