The War on Nerds Continues: Game of Thrones Season 7 Release Date & Logan

Every war is made up of battles. The thing about battles is that you win some and you lose some. This rule applies to the War on Nerds. In the past few weeks, we’ve won a battle and we’ve lost a battle.

George RR Martin missed his deadline to publish The Winds of Winter early this year. HBO is rubbing salt into that wound by setting the premiere date for Season 7 of Game of Thrones for July 16th instead of the usual April premiere. The season will also be shorter, featuring only seven episodes instead of the eight we’ve grown accustomed to. Just to be clear, we’re waiting three months longer for a season with fewer episodes.

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George RR Martin: sick and brilliant man

I’m all for making sure that we get quality television, but COME ON! If I put George RR Martin in charge of writing my grocery list I’d freakin’ starve to death! I honestly think making us wait is part of his sick genius. It goes hand in hand with killing off our favorite characters. That brilliant, dastardly man!

Okay now that we have that out of the way, let’s get to the battle we won and that friends, is Logan. If you haven’t seen it yet, stop reading now and come on back after you do.

When I first heard it would partly be based off of the Old Man Logan series I was skeptical. Then I saw the trailer which included X-23 (now known in the comics as All New Wolverine) one of my all-time favorite X-Men. That raised the stakes for me. If they didn’t get this film right, I was going to go into full Berserker rage the likes of which have not been seen or felt since X3: The Last Stand. I’m pleased to say that I was not disappointed.

It was damned entertaining. The production design and the settings had a very Western feel to them and it had a level of grit that we haven’t seen in any previous X-Men movies. It had F bombs and they even finally got Berserker rage right!

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If you’re a comic book villain, this may just be the last thing you ever see

They made me nervous with X-23. I didn’t see her foot claws come out until halfway through the movie and let me tell you I breathed a sigh of relief. Her foot claws are a part of what makes her so uniquely badass, so leaving them out would’ve taken me right out of the film on principle alone. Dammit, the character has foot claws in the comics, so she should have them in the movie! It’s not rocket science! It also makes her as effective if not more effective than Wolverine in my opinion. Wolverine’s fighting style is very straight-forward: offensive strikes (and/or slashes) with little to no emphasis on defense. X-23 on the other hand can use more refined attacks and her defensive game is stronger than his by virtue of her foot claws.

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X-23, aka Laura, aka All New Wolverine, aka my homegirl

Now, about her origin story. They got it mostly right. She was created by Weapon X in a lab, but they didn’t talk about why she was a female clone or whose DNA they used with Wolverine’s to create her. For the record, it was because the Y chromosome from Wolverine’s DNA sample was damaged and therefore unable to supply them with a viable male clone of Wolverine. The female scientist who was working on the project was forced to donate her DNA in the form of an X chromosome and also carry and give birth to her. In any case, I say “Meh, close enough.” I’ll take it. I wasn’t really into the creation of a new male clone of Wolverine. It wasn’t really true to the comics and it felt like a cheap, contrived plot device. However that is my only complaint. Otherwise, Logan is a solid film.

I think we have some pretty good things on the horizon, fellow nerds. Even though it will be later and shorter, there is the new season of Game of Thrones and I’m sure The Winds of Winter will be published…eventually. We also finally have a Wolverine movie that actually gets it mostly right. It also opens the door for X-23 to get her own movie and to an entire new series of New X-Men movies featuring the next generation of young mutants. We’ve got some good stuff coming, so fight the good fight, follow nerds!

Transphobia: I don’t get it

There seems to be a lot of controversy around transgender people and their use of public bathrooms. There are some (read: bigots) who seem to think that if transgender people are allowed to use the bathroom assigned to the gender they feel comfortable in rather than the one they were assigned at birth, perverts the world over will get the idea that if they throw on a wig and some make up, they’ll be free to hang out in ladies rooms and molest women of all ages. This logic makes no sense to me because the very same people who think this way put a pervert who wears a wig and make up and openly brags about sexually assaulting women in the White House.

Let me go ahead and break this down for you piece by piece and using small words so that your tiny pea-sized brains will understand: TRANSGENDER PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE TOO! That means like all people they go potty. It also means that they should have the same basic rights you and I do.

But what about our daughters? Don’t they have the right to potty in relative safety? What if some pervert pretends to be transgender and tries to molest them?

Fact: More Republican lawmakers have been arrested for sexual misconduct in public restrooms than transgender people. It’s true. Google it. I’ll wait. But more importantly, if you’re so concerned for your daughters’ safety why exactly are you not escorting them into the public restroom?

She’s a teenager. What if she’s out with her friends?

Seriously? Have you ever seen a teenage girl out with her friends go into a bathroom alone? That’s what I thought.

But what if she’s on a date with her boyfriend?

Then the boyfriend is the one you should be worried about because I promise you he’s the one who’s trying the hardest to get at your daughter’s bits below the belt. But if you’re really that concerned about her using a public restroom by herself, teach her how to defend herself. Hint: the answer is almost always kick the groin.

Well I still think there ought to be a law requiring people to use the bathroom assigned to the gender they were born with.

Of course you do, but let me ask you this: How exactly would we go about enforcing such a law? I don’t know about you, but if someone walked up to me in a public restroom and asked me to show my genitals, I’d punch that person in the throat. You complain about how high taxes are now. Imagine how high they’ll be when we have to allocate public funds to enforce a ridiculous law on who uses which bathroom.

Why don’t we talk about the real issue here, that being your obvious transphobia, hmm? I get it. People fear that which they do not understand. You’ve always felt comfortable in your gender and don’t understand how anyone possibly couldn’t feel the same way. Okay think about why people dye their hair. Let’s say you were born with blonde hair, but as you age, you start to feel like your hair color just doesn’t fit you. You try everything. You try styling it differently, different cuts, etc and you still just don’t feel comfortable in your own skin as a blonde and you think you’d rather have brown hair, so you dye it. No big deal right? Sure some people may hate on you, but you’re happy and that’s what matters. At its very core, this gender issue is basically the same. Admittedly comparing changing gender to dying one’s hair is perhaps oversimplifying it and doesn’t entirely do it justice. After all, it’s not very likely that your parents will disown you for dying your hair. However for the purposes of explaining something big and complicated to people whose minds are small and closed, oversimplification can be a useful tool.

But what if my kid turns out to be one of those freaks?

Come on. Really? Transgender people are people just like you and me. They’re not freaks. We talked about this. A chance meeting with a transgender person in a public restroom is not going to turn your non-trans child trans. It doesn’t work that way. Frankly the fact that you think it does makes you a very special kind of stupid. If your child is going to be trans, it’s going to happen and there’s nothing you can do about it at this point because you see, your child has already been born and oh my God I can’t believe I have to say this in 2017.

When you were expecting your child before you knew what his/her gender was going to be, you didn’t care right? When people asked you said you just wanted a healthy, happy baby. So um…what exactly has changed? Why would you feel any differently now? Do you not love your child? Seriously what the hell is wrong with you? If you disown your transgender child, there’s a very special place in hell for you. I’m also going to need you to take that Jesus fish off the back of your car because anyone with your lack of compassion and tolerance has no right to call themselves a Christian.

Fine but they should have to use a separate bathroom from the rest of us.

Oh sure and while we’re at it, maybe we should make them use separate water fountains, make them sit in the back of city busses, and go to “separate but equal” schools. See, that’s how legal precedent works. First it’s a separate bathroom and then down the slippery slope we go until we bring back segregation. But here’s another fun fact about legal precedent: When the Supreme Court rules something unconstitutional, it’s pretty much game over for that law. Newsflash! In case you missed it, Brown v. Board of Education ruled state-sponsored segregation illegal in 1954.

I have a novel idea for you! JUST PEE OR POO AND MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS! If the person in the restroom looks like a female from the waist up, assume she’s female. If the person looks like a male from the waist up, assume he’s a male. What goes on in the stall is between you and your deity of choice, so why should it be any different for them? What’s below your waist is none of their business so why is what’s below their waists any of yours? Seriously how old are we? Grow up! Just do your business and mind your own.