If like me, you were deeply disappointed by the prequels to the point where you threw up your hands and gave up on Star Wars, now is not the time to allow that to make you bitter. Do yourself a favor and watch Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, then re-watch the originals and by that I mean the non-remastered originals. You know the films as they were meant to be; before Stephen Spielberg screwed with them.
Rogue One bridges the gap between the travesty that was Revenge of the Sith and the holy trilogy. You might just fall back in love with the franchise. If that doesn’t work, remember who you were the first time you saw the films. If you were like me, you were a sweet summer child uncorrupted by adulthood. You still believed in miracles and Donald Trump wasn’t yet elected so you still believed in the power of good triumphing over evil. Remember that child. Now watch The Force Awakens.
Are you caught up? Good. Now GO SEE THE LAST JEDI. RUN, DON’T WALK. This film has everything. It has our space mom Carrie Fisher and yes for the record I cried. I can’t begin to describe how much I miss that woman. She was smart and honest and fierce and beautiful. It’s got Mark Hammill and it’s got jokes. It’s got BB-8 being a total badass. It’s got Captain Phasma, Finn, Supreme Leader Snoke, and the ginger general, General Huks. Kylo Ren finally takes off that ridiculous helmet and Rey starts coming into her own.
And I haven’t even gone into the creatures!!! There are racing creatures on a casino planet called Fathiers. I mean come on, look at this thing. Don’t you just want to pet it? I totally do. I want to give it treats of…um…whatever the hell they would eat as a treat.
Then there are the crystal foxes. They look incredibly cool and I can’t imagine how many hours went into creating them. I would pet it, but I’d want some type of protective gloves because it just looks…prickly.
Chewbacca came back again and I’m happy to report that nothing happened to him. If God forbid something did, you’d already know it because you’d already have seen me on the news taking to the streets and rioting. I LOVE that Wookie. If I had been born and raised in the Rebellion, Chewy would’ve been my favorite babysitter. If you’re still not sold on the new films, picture little me putting ribbons in Chewy’s fur and the look on Han’s face when he witnessed my handiwork. I mean come on, guys. Give it chance. It has porgs. PORGS!!!! They’re so cute Chewy couldn’t bring himself to eat them and come on Chewy eats pretty much everything. How stinkin’ cute are they? I defy you to look at the picture above and not at least quietly to yourself say awwww.
In all seriousness if you really want to have a good time at the movies, go see The Last Jedi. I highly recommend a theater with recliner seats. They’ve basically ruined all other movie theaters for me.